Do you have any idea how scary it is to pitch the President of the United States of America. You can never be caught with yesterdays underwear still on. You cut back on the use of the word “fuck” in the stuff you write. You return e-mail from people you don’t know, without the casual evisceration. You cross at the light. Everything seems to go into button-up mode when you open yourself up to Federal investigation by the folks who got famous for it. Not that we don’t normally run a tight ship around here. The point is being compelled to take a closer look at the ship. It’s the last month of an amazing year for us and everybody else. My focus is on trying to focus each of our business units into becoming even more adaptive. When IAPIA pitches the White House, Fantazzzmia renews its web domain. |
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The whole thing just makes me want to puke. But a slob's gotta do what a slob's gotta do. Like define exactly what the connection is between Branswers.com and WhiteHouseOfficeOfCreativeAffairs.wordpress.com . No, I mean define it right down to shared databases and web architecture. As well as defining everything else around here. Well, what do you mean by Adaptive Marketing exactly? And what is the difference between Lean Advertising and NeoAdvertising? Inquiring Feds will want to know. Then there is the issue of loose strings. Did we file all of our taxes? Do we have any outstanding creditors out standing around saying unflattering things about our accounts payable procedures. Or lack of same. Once you work for the government you get to understand it’s more about getting them not to say “No” rather than convincing them to say “Yes.” It’s all about the check and the box. That’s just the price of admission. That’s what you get to go through just to play. So this past week has been one of constant discovery. “Hey did we ever file a form 950 back in 2003?” How about ’04,’05 and ’06?” “So that’s what that $1473, was for. Damn.” It gives me a new appreciation about what running a business is all about. It’s all about filing, stuff. And being able to find stuff when you need it. And it’s all about the ability to execute on the ideas you dream up. And know where every penny went., four years later. Then there is the “consistency of message”, thing. I’m always messing that up. “Well over here you say this, and then on the IAPIA blog they quote you as saying that.” Hell, one thing got written on Tuesday and the other thing got said on Wednesday. Not good enough. Rearrange history for the sake of neatness. The White House Office of Creative Affairs (OCA) is a powerful idea. It could do a lot for the country in the right hands. But it’s gonna take a lot of work to make it work. And it’s the kind of work that needs to be done in advance. ‘Cause when those wave after wave of smart people start asking them smart questions they seem to be so fond of, we better have the answers. Like, how does the OCA work to forward the President’s agenda? What is the process for government acquiring an IP through the OCA? Who funds the activities of the OCA? Big questions. So along with finding out the required big answers, we also have to find out if we paid our interns as freelancers or independent contractors in 1999. I keep hearing people around here saying how did we get in this “White House Dealio” anyway? Nobody seems to recall the battle cry of our Adaptive Marketing Practices work. “Change or Die.” Or the four interest areas covered by NeoAdvertising. Lifestyle. Political. Business. And Financial. In any case, here we are. On one hand we are pitching Lifestyle NeoAdvertising to the Global 1000 that may cut their cost of marketing in half. On the other hand we’re pitching the Obama Administration a branch of government based upon the principals and practices of Political NeoAdvertising which could reduce the cost of Government outreach by 75%. And in our spare time we’re going over our latest EDD forms. Think "New."
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